Final Goodbye
by Vermillion
Summary: Based on Chapter 52. Warnings of spoilers for the said chapter and BL!


Warnings: Spoilers ahead! and BL! Turn back now before it's too late!

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In Chapter 52, there were speculations that one of the Black Hawks members was a Ghost. Based on that, asomyrcal and I couldn't lay our speculation to rest and thus, this RP log was born.

Italics are **me** writing from Hyuuga's point of view while normal text is **asomyrcal** writing from Ayanami's point of view.

This is pure fiction and our account of what could have happened in our own opinions, views and our own world of 07-Ghost.

Flames are not appreciated but comments, opinions and critiques are always welcomed.

Enjoy!

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**Final Goodbye**

His sword is dripping blood and there are jagged rips in his uniform, and a cut on his cheek is oozing crimson. He's cut down two of them already, right here where they thought they would have been safe, and he remembers the words he had told that man, he would take back all of his fragments.

The grip on the sword tightens, he wishes it is the cold forbidding metal of the scythe he has yet to seize from the Ghost that has it, but for now this steel blade will do. Light pours through the massive gaps in the roof, the force of the battles had ripped concrete apart, not that he does care.

_He was watching all this while as his enemies now turned comrades fell. There was so much he could have done and couldn't do._

_"Itching for something, Aya-tan?"_

_His ability to mock and poke fun at others seemed to be still attached to his original self. Something that would be hard to shake. He began to wonder what else had been a lie._

The cold violet gaze lifts to meet Hyuuga's eyes. His grip tightens ever so slightly. The old nickname a now-dead comrade had given him barely shakes him, his eyes are steel and ice, and he doesn't answer the Ghost standing there before him.

_Without the black panes of glass to shield his eyes, the crimson eyes are playful but still deadly as ever. Despite the mockery, there was a hint of sadness in his voice, shielded by the made-believe smile on his face._

How fitting, he should encounter him here. Ayanami refuses to let hesitation grip him, instead raises a hand and unleashes those deadly whips of black magic. He has hesitated enough, once upon a time he failed to finish what he should have, and it will end here.

_He chose to extinguish the black words hurled at him, black turned to white as it was manipulated to something different from harsh words._

So much for words between them. But he doesnt waste time in launching another attack, even though it will probably turn out to be futile.

_"That's it? I expected better of you, Veleron"_

_The words that left his lips hurt when they were said. The taunting and jesting directed at his former superior left a real if not physical impact just from saying them. The pain doesn't create wounds but leaves substantial impact on his weakening heart._

This time he won't allow anger or rage to blind him, he has none of those left, instead Ayanami decides, this is simply another Ghost - and not a man he had once seen as a close subordinate - another one that he will extinguish. A cruel smirk curls the edge of his lips even though he doesn't truly feel it.

"You won't still be smiling, Randkalt."

That man's name is spat out like a poison, before Ayanami lunges forward with a razor edge blade, dark tendrils of black magic lashing out around him. They tear chunks of already weakened concrete out from around him, a distraction if nothing more, to allow their wielder to get closer to his opponent.

_He could only defend with his own blade in response. He felt the gnawing against his shield. It stung more than anything but he was relatively still unharmed._

_"Neither would you"_

"I will, once you're dead." His voice is cold, betraying absolutely nothing of what he felt. He has been sentimental and hesitant enough, and this times his strikes carry precision in them, aiming to wound or kill at every turn.

_Avoiding any corners that may leave him trapped, he maneuvered himself to defend at every strike. There were so many loopholes, so many opportunities but he couldn't bring himself to use them._

_Guilt refrained him from acting against it._

Somehow this scene seemed all too familiar, as if they've been through the steps of this dance before. His strikes grow just a little more disorganized before he pulls his mind together, telling himself that it is the enemy that he has to overcome. But yet there's still something. He can't name it.

Ayanami brings the steel blade down, catching Hyuuga's gaze for just a moment.

_Hyuuga brought his blade up in response. It was difficult to look Ayanami in the eye now that there was nothing to hide his piercing stare. A quick blink of the eye brought him back to reality that left his life hanging in the balance._

_A life that he no longer valued for himself._

He knows why this is so familiar, they've done this before in what seems like a lifetime ago, when that man still wore those dark glasses and they-

No.

"Is this all, Randkalt?" It feels strange, calling him by that name. Foreign, as if the name shouldn't be there.

_For a moment, he didn't know how to respond to a name that he had long hid. It was as if he no longer remembered._

_Gathering his strength, he pushed backwards against the blade that held him down, carelessly slashing at his opponent with no obvious direction._

Now it's become his turn to deflect those careless blows, the killing intent he had moments earlier had seemingly dissipated into a void. Ayanami can't seem to summon the same anger he had when he faced the other Ghosts, not when this one bears the visage and voice of a man he had trusted. All the hesitation returns in an instant, even though he had sworn not to hesitate to kill the traitor.

_"Don't hesitate!"_

_He never intended to shout but he was not being taken seriously. There is slightly more force in his blows, pushing out all the emotion of the fight._

_"Focus. focus. focus."_

_He had started chanting to himself in his mind. He was loosing himself._

He needs to be ruthless. Heartless. The force of the blows from Hyuuga's sword is actually driving him back, and he matches it with an intensity he doesn't truly feel, lashing out with dark magic that has seemingly lost the rough edge of malice.

Don't hesitate.

Yet he is.

_He knew Ayanami was hesitating. He was too but there was a score to settle. He had managed to pinned the silver haired man against a wall, his blade dangerously close._

Fingers reach up, wrapping around the blade and keeping it away from him. Violet bored into crimson, and somewhere at the back of his mind he remembers how it's like to stare into those eyes without the dark barrier between them.

"Smug now, Randkalt?"

_With slight pressure, the steel sharp blade left shallow cuts in the fingers and crimson liquid stained his katana._

_It hurt. It really hurt._

His grip on the metal tightens, ignoring the fact that blood has now stained his fingers and the blade crimson. He focuses on the physical pain, it is so much easier to deal with that than the wounds where no-one else can see.

_"Stop"_

_A hand loosened the grip on the katana hilt to grab Ayanami's wrist._

_"Let go"_

"Why should I?"

His grip only tightens, drawing more blood. It is red everywhere, rivulets of it trickling down his wrist, off the edge of the blade, leaving drops of crimson on the ruined floor of the church.

_Leaning forward, his body moved on its own. A chaste kiss was all he could manage, hoping that Ayanami would somehow be distracted enough for him to move his blade away from his grip._

_"Please"_

It surprises him when Hyuuga does what he does, and his grip now slippery with blood loosens just a little. "Why?"

That question again. He has asked this once, a lifetime ago, but back then he had never gotten any answer.

_His grip on Ayanami's wrist tightens just slightly as he lowers his blade away from the blood stained gloved fingers._

_He lunged forward, savoring the one last taste of bittersweet chocolate. He wasn't sure what he was doing, he only knew that he wanted to do it._

_Asking for forgiveness, begging for it. Apologizing one last time._

If he gives in now he will never let him go. His hands are shaking, bloodied fingers reaching blindly for familiar callused fingers, his heart pounding so fast that he's quite sure it'd burst out of his chest. His mind is a blank, if he gives in now he could lose everything but yet...

_His grip tightens on the gloved fingers. A whirlwind of emotions engulf him. He doesn't want to let go. He knows how this will end if he doesn't. He feels his blood run cold, his heart trembles with an aching pain he would never understand._

He shouldn't. He can't. His fingers hurt but his grip tightens even more, it shouldn't feel right but it does, even though that man is a Ghost and he doesn't know what he's thinking any more. The dull ache that he had felt so long ago makes itself felt again, the gnawing pain when he realized everything so long ago.

_He pulls away because of the need to breathe._

_The moment is broken as he sees the hollow in the violet eyes and he feels warm bitter tears linger at the corners of his eyes. Refusing to let them fall, he steps away, his back facing Ayanami. He held a fist against his chest as though attempting to soothe away the pain there though he knew it would follow him forever_

_"I don't care anymore. Do what you're supposed to."_

There is silence, and his heart feels too heavy, like the sword gripped loosely at his side. He can't do it. He couldn't do it then, and he can't bring himself to do it now. His voice almost shakes, it's not supposed to but it does, when he speaks those same old words.

"Get out, Hyuuga."

_His grip on his sword tightens. He feels his hands shake. He wasn't afraid to face death because it was eminent. There would be no end to this._

He bites down on a lip hard enough to draw blood. "I told you. Get out."

_"Easier said than done, Aya-tan"_

That name again.

"What do you want?" There is tiredness in his voice, exhaustion from masking all those stray emotions for so long, and the bloodloss is starting to get to him as well.

_He barely feels the dampness of the blood in his palm as it starts to dry. Gripping his fit tightly, he held onto the specks of dried crimson like a precious memento._

_"I don't know"_

It's a never-ending cycle. They have already been entangled too far in their own chains and Ayanami doesn't know what to say any more.

_"I'm sorry"_

_One heavy footstep after another followed as he pushed himself forward unwillingly. It wasn't his choice to make. It wasn't his right to choose._

He can hear the heavy footfalls and knows, Hyuuga is leaving again. No. Not again.

"For what, Hyuuga?"

_"Everything."_

_He wants to stay. He wants to stop walking._

"For running away, Hyuuga?"

He takes a step forward, and another.

_He halted in his tracks. Ayanami's words hit him like a ton of bricks. He was running away._

_Was there a better option? Was there another option even?_

There are so many words he wants to say but he doesn't, so many things he wants to tell him but he has never spoken those words out loud. Stay, he wants to tell him, but the word merely lingers on the tip of his tongue and does nothing else.

Another few strides and he is right behind Hyuuga.

"Don't."

Don't what, exactly, he isn't even sure either.

_"Is there an option? Is there a choice? I don't think so!"_

_He found himself shouting as he steps back and points his katana at Ayanami._

_"I didn't ask for this. Not this"_

The scene seems too familiar, and he can't stop the fleeting, wry smile that tugs at his lips. But those violet eyes are still hauntingly hollow when they meet Hyuuga's crimson, not once fazed by the katana pointed at him. His bloodied hand reaches up and closes loosely around the blade once again. He doesn't know how to reply, not when they're trapped in this continuous loop with no way out.

_"Let go"_

"No."

_"What do you want? You ask me to leave. You stop me from leaving. You won't kill me. I can't kill you."_

_"What. Do. You. Want?"_

_He spat those words out between clenched teeth, placing his fingers in between the gap of his blade and Ayanami's fingers before sliding the blade out. The blood that stained the blade was now his own._

_He pushed Ayanami's hand away._

_"I've spilled enough of your blood already"_

_He lifted his hand, eyeing the crimson liquid that pooled at the cuts._

He doesn't know either, none of his actions have made any sense. For a person so logical none of this has made any sense to him at all. Instead, his bloodied hand reaches up, hooks trembling digits in Hyuuga's collar to pull him down and presses a kiss against those lips.

One last time. One last taste of poison.

_Tears finally spilled from his eyes. The kiss was almost painful, excruciatingly painful but he didn't want to let go of his former superior. His arm holds him in a tight embrace._

There is warmth against his cheek but Ayanami doesn't want to know what that is. His heart is pounding again, trembling grip on Hyuuga's collar tightening slightly. Once he lets go they will lose each other for good, he knows but there is nothing else he can do any more.

_He clings onto the final memory of a former companion and a newfound enemy. It was the end when he pulled away to breathe._

_"Goodbye, Aya-tan"_

He can't bring himself to say the words. He can't bring himself to say goodbye.

Instead, he carries the hurt quietly as he turns, turns away from the one person he had allowed close, from the one person who had betrayed him, turns away and starts to walk. If he stops now... if he stops now he will turn back and-

So this truly was farewell.

He can't say it.

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Sorry about the length. We got rather emotional while writing this so it was difficult for us to say goodbye to our favorite pairing. We hope you've enjoyed reading this~


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